Angband.oook.cz
Angband.oook.cz
AboutVariantsLadderForumCompetitionComicScreenshotsFunniesLinks

Go Back   Angband Forums > Angband > Variants

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old August 18, 2011, 18:39   #1
dzhang
Scout
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 47
dzhang is on a distinguished road
Angband poetry competition! :D

Chris Kousky started this in his screenshot label, so I'll submit our joint work to get the ball rolling:

"Woes of the Deep"

Ah, the woes of the deep,
where the learning curve is steep.
Where graveyards abound and uniques run amok,
where artifacts are plenty and !oLife are stock.
Where rockets fly and nether rains,
and treasures are fraught with adventurer blood stains.
Who will be the source of my death?
A tonberry, a magus, or a great wyrm's breath?
Passing are my character's gains,
The monster memory is all that remains.
dzhang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 18, 2011, 19:12   #2
chris
PosChengband Maintainer
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 702
chris is on a distinguished road
Combat Echizen is a fearsome foe
Firing deadly rockets, as you ought to know.
He'll blink and blink and blink some more.
Healing and Invulnerable! Gosh! What a bore!
You swing to hit but his AC's too high.
I hope you resist shards or surely you'll die!

The Destroyer marches with menacing glee
Better not rely on just telepathy!
With mana bolts and disintegration breath
He'll quickly lead you to the brink of death!
Don't let him get close as he's rather tough
and I doubt you can quaff just quite fast enough!
chris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 18, 2011, 19:45   #3
d_m
Angband Devteam member
 
d_m's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA, USA
Age: 38
Posts: 1,516
d_m is on a distinguished road
Elf, you are truly
the worst player race there is.
Great charisma, though.

How did I get here?
No light, no stairs, no nothing.
Ah yes, no selling.

In the unlit room
Life passes before the eyes
Novice paladins

Four thousand feet down
Even the mighty just use
Teleport Other

Reading *Remove Curse*
Confusion turns to horror:
Not wielding Calris
__________________
linux->xterm->screen->pmacs

Last edited by d_m; August 18, 2011 at 20:24.
d_m is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 18, 2011, 20:22   #4
HallucinationMushroom
Knight
 
HallucinationMushroom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Indiana, U.S.A.
Age: 39
Posts: 769
HallucinationMushroom is on a distinguished road
98 ales later,
I am not drunk
__________________
You are on something strange
HallucinationMushroom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 19, 2011, 02:06   #5
Nick
Vanilla maintainer
 
Nick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Canberra, Australia
Age: 53
Posts: 7,164
Donated: $60
Nick is on a distinguished road
Here's my entry (and see the Funnies tab for some more from other people).
__________________
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
Nick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 19, 2011, 02:32   #6
chris
PosChengband Maintainer
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 702
chris is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick View Post
Here's my entry (and see the Funnies tab for some more from other people).
That's odd, cause all I ever really want to do is get some CON! How did you know
chris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 19, 2011, 06:18   #7
dzhang
Scout
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 47
dzhang is on a distinguished road
Oh my! Oh my! What's that I see?
A lovely weapon, showing ten D ten.
I wield it quickly, my heart full of glee,
"Gonna kill orcs till lords know when!"

A troll appears and I think to myself,
"Nah, it's not dangerous; it's color is green."
I swing and see "Your weapon cuts deep into yourself!"
And the familiar tombstone fills my screen.

And so ended the tale of Gwar, third of his name.
Done in by a "feature," a weapon that was a trap.
The fate of those who wield it are all the same;
Death Scythe is the name; the "treasure" that is crap!
dzhang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 19, 2011, 07:26   #8
buzzkill
Prophet
 
buzzkill's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 2,939
Donated: $8
buzzkill is on a distinguished road
Story... of a half orc, maybe?

Shelia. She's as ugly as hell.

Mushrooms?!? Where's my gravy baby?

E. My last action. Her death knell.

ESC. Hmmm, it's only 3 AM
.
__________________
www.mediafire.com/buzzkill - Get your 32x32 tiles here. UT32 now compatible Ironband and Quickband 9/6/2012.
My banding life on Buzzkill's ladder.
buzzkill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 19, 2011, 15:35   #9
nppangband
NPPAngband Maintainer
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Stat Gain, Angband
Posts: 926
nppangband is on a distinguished road
I don't know if the original poem ("Casey At The Bat") is well known outside of the USA. It is quite famous here, but since it is about Baseball it is probably unheard of outside of our borders. Below is the the Angband adaptation....

“Morgoth and The @”

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the ringwraith nine that night;
The score stood seven-nil, with but two ringwraiths left to fight,
And then the Witch-king died at last, then Khamul did get canned,
A pall-like silence fell upon the demons of Angband.

A straggling few got up to fight in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the undead nest;
They thought, "If only Morgoth could but get a whack at that —
We would bet all our copper now, if Morgoth fights the @."

But Sauron preceded Morgoth, and fighting Gothmog needed,
And the former was a maia, while the latter undefeated;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat;
For there seemed but little chance of Morgoth fighting with the @.

But Sauron dropped Boots of Fëanor, to the wonderment of all,
And Gothmog, the high captain, and his escorts all got mauled;
And when the smoke had lifted, and trolls saw the walls all seared,
There the @ still stood, and a magical staircase appeared.

Down to five thousand feet and then @ heard a mighty roar;
It rumbled through the dungeon, it rattled all the doors;
It echoed on the stairways and recoiled upon the traps,
For Morgoth, mighty Morgoth, was advancing on the @.

There was ease in Morgoth's manner as @ stepped into his place;
There was Grond in Morgoth’s right hand and scars on Morgoth’s face.
And when, responding to the howls,@ donned his leather cap,
Ancient dragons tensed and watched as Morgoth fought the @.

Ten thousand eyes were on him Morgoth cast a nether ball.
Five thousand tongues applauded as Grond made all the walls fall.
Then @ drank a *Healing* potion to help stem the tide,
Morgoth cast a brain smashing spell and summoned demons to his side.

And now two bolts of holy might came hurtling through the night,
And Morgoth stood a-watching as they struck between his eyes.
Close by the evil demons all got banished and fled
"Now you die by Grond," said Morgy. "You miss!" the RNG said.

From the dungeons, black and bloody, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore;
"Kill him! Kill the character!" screamed the balrogs of Angband;
And it's likely they'd get summoned if Morgoth raised his hand.

With a sneer of evil hatred his twisted visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the fight go on;
He moved next to the player, and again @’s bolts flew true;
And Morgy swung at him, the RNG declared "You miss! (x2)"

"Kill!" cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered "Kill!"
And one Brain Smashing from Morgoth and his opponent stood still.
Then @ quaffed *healing* potions, and his wounds went away,
And then they knew that Morgoth may not survive the day.

The sneer had left from Morgy's face, his teeth were clenched in hate;
He pounded with cruel violence on @’s artifact chest plate.
Then the player's crossbow shot, and seeker bolts scored *great* hits,
As nearby walls are shattered by the force of Morgy’s miss.

Oh, up there in the nearby town the sun is shining bright,
Idiots blubber somewhere, and leper’s hearts are light,
Singing, happy drunks all laugh, and street urchins shout;
But there is no joy in Angband — mighty Morgoth has died out.
nppangband is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 19, 2011, 19:06   #10
bio_hazard
Knight
 
bio_hazard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 587
bio_hazard is on a distinguished road
A few limericks...

There once was a bandit named Roach
who's defense was beyond reproach.
A broad shield did span
the arm 'neath his right hand,
in his left a gleaming main gauche.

There once was an elf from Nanticket
Who put his sword where'er he could stick it.
One day he died to a yeek,
who laughed through his beak
"Dear Elf, you forgot to equip it."

There once was a mageling named Mark
Who's training was merely a lark.
Through the dungeon he crept
Monsters laughed till they wept
"Your missile is merely a spark!"

There once was a dwarf named Roald
who hoarded all of his gold
His friends wondered why
no new gear did he buy.
"I'd rather be rich than old."

There once was a troll priest named Bess
At meals she was a terrible mess
She ate with her hands
Till a monk had a plan
Now her knife and fork were blessed.
bio_hazard is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Competition 81 andrewdoull Competition 38 January 24, 2010 23:17
Competition 80 Nick Competition 13 January 16, 2010 06:00
Competition 79 Nick Competition 14 December 19, 2009 23:10
Competition 78 Nick Competition 2 December 14, 2009 05:27
Next Angband competition andrewdoull Variants 9 November 2, 2007 22:39


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 20:53.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions Inc.