Angband.oook.cz
Angband.oook.cz
AboutVariantsLadderForumCompetitionComicScreenshotsFunniesLinks

Go Back   Angband Forums > The real world > Oook!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old January 22, 2014, 21:45   #1
caruso
Adept
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 149
caruso is on a distinguished road
New funnies

It's about time to make some additions to the Funnies, don't you think so? Here are some suggestions:

OT: Experienced Stone Soup players should also take a look at the Funny suggestions for Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup

Last edited by caruso; January 24, 2014 at 21:11.
caruso is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 23, 2014, 05:42   #2
ekolis
Knight
 
ekolis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Cincinnati, OH, USA
Age: 35
Posts: 911
ekolis is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to ekolis Send a message via MSN to ekolis Send a message via Yahoo to ekolis
TIL V has an "emote" command...
__________________
You read the scroll labeled NOBIMUS UPSCOTI...
You are surrounded by a stasis field!
The tengu tries to teleport, but fails!
ekolis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 12, 2015, 16:26   #3
caruso
Adept
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 149
caruso is on a distinguished road

Last edited by caruso; April 14, 2015 at 19:46.
caruso is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 12, 2015, 17:06   #4
MattB
Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Berkshire, UK
Posts: 1,099
MattB is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by caruso View Post
I think that's my favourite.
Thanks for reminding me of those, Caruso!
MattB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 12, 2015, 18:32   #5
Nomad
Knight
 
Nomad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: England
Posts: 958
Nomad is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by ekolis View Post
TIL V has an "emote" command...
...Well, this is going to completely change the way I format my note-taking in character dumps.
Nomad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 11, 2017, 16:22   #6
caruso
Adept
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 149
caruso is on a distinguished road
Realistic bureaucracy in roguelikes 1 | 2

Happy New Year everybody!
caruso is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 22, 2018, 17:55   #7
caruso
Adept
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 149
caruso is on a distinguished road

Last edited by caruso; December 22, 2018 at 18:05.
caruso is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 22, 2018, 19:05   #8
Pete Mack
Prophet
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 5,030
Donated: $40
Pete Mack is on a distinguished road
Here are my two such contributions:
You hit the orange orc.

Jamband announcement.
But this doesn't hold a candle to Rocketband, which is an actual variant released on April 1st:l, 2016.
http://angband.oook.cz/forum/showthr...ght=Rocketband
Pete Mack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 23, 2018, 14:31   #9
fph
Knight
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Berlin / Italy
Posts: 665
fph is on a distinguished road
@Pete Mack: the Jamband link doesn't work
__________________
Dive fast, die young, leave a high-CHA corpse.
--
You read a scroll labeled 'lol gtfo' of Teleport Level.
fph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 23, 2018, 22:48   #10
Sideways
Swordsman
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 328
Sideways is on a distinguished road
Wink

Some highlights from the angband.live chat... (lightly edited with spelling fixes and removal of unrelated messages)

--

Holy_Rage: I must stop playing FA-related games!
Holy_Rage: I just had a client on the phone, Mr. Cristobal
Holy_Rage: and I called him Mr. Orcobal!
Holy_Rage: *facepalm*
Quirk: As long as you didn't try to kill him I think friendly relations can be restored

--

bostock: Somehow mistook the Cloning Pits for my house
Gorbad: I was wondering about that yes
bostock: walked out of there before you could say < Y
Gorbad: first I thought 'you're going to die'
bostock: Hope I'm not missing out on too much by failing the quest
Gorbad: well... the good news is... you will encounter all those uniques anyway
rodent: you survived the Cloning Pits when Gwarl did not, that gives you bragging rights
bostock: To have been a fly on the wall in that scene
bostock: Blue Mage goes back to town, nips a flask of cognac from a townsperson
bostock: chugs it down
bostock: blunders into the Cloning Pits
bostock: "Hey, THIS isn't my house!"
bostock: checks out

--

Gwarl: don't yell at me
Gwarl: I'm going to spend some time restructuring my dev environment
Gwarl: (cleaning my room)

--

Gwarl: wow
Gwarl: you have fifteen cats!
Gwarl: how did this come to be?
MITZE: We don't fix our cats until it's too late
MITZE: also we attract strays
MITZE: or are given them
Gwarl: yeah but
Gwarl: most people draw a line at some point
Gwarl: clearly you don't
Gwarl: that's admirable

--

LogicalImp: where are you hunting Gwarl?
kh: Generally I hunt Gwarl in the angband.live chat
LogicalImp: rofl
MITZE: He is quite commonly found there
kh: he seems to have a fairly high spawn rate there yes
MITZE: except when something needs fixed
kh: yes then he moons you and teleports away of course

--

Holy_Rage: Fundin, son of Financin, famous Dwarven banker. You are the pride of your family. You have mortgaged half of the starting town's shops. You have a large nose, dark hair and a large moneypouch.

--

Holy_Rage: I am sure your Sergeant will find the Halls of Mandos awaiting for him with honour and reprieve from his ordeal.
LogicalImp: Aye, I'm sure he will. I know he was a very avid WoW player, but we all end up there some day.
Holy_Rage: Imagine if we meet all the @s we have sent there...
Holy_Rage: Awaiting to mob us!
LogicalImp: If we did I would feel sorry for Hugo

--

Holy_Rage: Feeling solid
Holy_Rage: Though in honour of my -very- patient mentor, rodent, i won't battle Morgoth if he is not around. Provided that I reach that stage.
kh: very hard to battle Morgoth if he is not around

--

kh: to be fair there are a lot of good ways to enjoy pain
kh: like playing angband, or spicy food, or practicing bdsm, or raising kids

--

Holy_Rage: 5th death on DL1 in a row
Holy_Rage: wow.
Holy_Rage: playing real bad I think
rodent: it sometimes happens that when you start dying you keep dying
wobbly: short of medical aid that is usually true

--

roushguy: ... wow
roushguy: I have no idea what *band to play.
Gwarl: what are you into
LogicalImp: That's the joy of it! Play them all!
Gwarl: (nobody has played them all. possibly clouded has)
roushguy: I don't even know.
Gwarl: there are different dimensions. tightly focused, or large and expansive?
Gwarl: consistent lore, or kitchen sink?
roushguy: uh
rodent: (you will answer five or six questions, and at the end Gwarl will recommend that you play Oangband, even though no one else plays it)

--

Gwarl: I'm fighting the urge to depressionpost everywhere. I could probably get away with it as captain of this ship but this is such a nice place. I don't want to ruin it
LogicalImp: Gwarl, we are all here for you!
Gwarl: yes and I want to keep it that way lol

--

Quirk: who sets up their anvil next to the Brambles of Confusion?
Quirk: even orcs aren't that dumb
Flyingpants: well i mean, how do you kill them
BostocksAlt: 28 terrible forge placements
BostocksAlt: #18 will make you facepalm!

--

Gwarl: yeah I don't know how to unzip the split archive
rodent: you need to join the two "zips" into one zip and unzip the big zip
BostocksAlt: we're nerds, we don't know anything about unzipping

--

Gwarl: now I'm confused, fighting the variant maintainer, who is also confused, and there are software bugs everywhere

--

kh: okay why did the ironman angband player forget how his game went
kh: because he couldn't recall

--

Fnord: Duelists can't dual wield?
Gwarl: well
Gwarl: they aren't dualists
BostocksAlt: The dualist hits you! You feel the conflict between the material and the spiritual

--

BostocksAlt: hmm, tough decision, potionmasters are more fun but scrollmasters are weirder

--

bostock: Octodad the Orc has managed to generate so much loot I have to leave and unload
bostock: A surprising but effective strategy for lengthening his lifespan

--

Gwarl: I honestly don't understand why anyone would defend java
Gwarl: you must have stockholm syndrome

--

bostock: You have a Light Blue Mushroom (b). You feel very naive. How impatient! You have no more Mushrooms of Naivety in your pack. Orcobal the Mighty says, 'Has your folly led to this?'

--

Your Time hound breathes Time at Saruman of Many Colours. Saruman of Many Colours seems weakened. Saruman of Many Colours says, 'Time? What time do you think we have?'

--

BostocksAlt: Ghatanothoa dies. You just completed your quest! A magical staircase appears...-more-
BostocksAlt: cl27, dl37
Fnord: You're pretty nuts, bostock. Did I ever mention that?
BostocksAlt: Wow! You feel very self-confident! Welcome to level 28. The voice of Chardros booms out: 'My pets, destroy the arrogant mortal!'

--

BostocksUgar: Jack of Shadows just stole my rod of illumination
BostocksUgar: this should be canon

--

wobbly is now watching
wobbly: what does this mace do, hmm. let me just jump in a pool of lava

--

bostock: time to do debby
Fnord: I hate loot destroying things though
bostock: i am a loot destroying thing
Fnord: No you're not: I don't hate you. Qed.
bostock: this lady has bad breath

--

BostocksAlt: for godknowswhat reason
BostocksAlt: numenor has a tendency to just randomly spawn clone-of-locke pits
BostocksAlt: As Tolkien wrote in The Secret Unpublished Silmarillion:
BostocksAlt: "Numenor is full of anime characters"

--

Fnord: What's your goal with rodentband?
rodent: I want to upturn world order and bring about the fall of mankind and the robot takeover
BostocksAlt: sounds reasonable

--

Nemo: crash :-(
rodent: crashed under the weight of all the bostocks
Nemo: It would be nice if someone could restore my file. If not I'll redo the level
Nemo: @rodent has bostock been cloning himself
rodent: yes
rodent: not sure how I feel about bostock clones taking over the world, it's better than rule by normal humans I suppose
BostocksUgar: I promise to be nice to the normies
BostocksUgar: and to only generate Clone of Bostock pits in Numenor

--

kobold: luring people into antisummoning corridors is hard when you're stealthier than god
BostocksAlt: that's pretty stealthy
BostocksAlt: never seen the guy

--

BostocksAlt: You are shocked. Shocked, I tell you!

--

BostocksUgar: The Yeek President is a thief
BostocksUgar: I never knew
vertigoalt: he probably casts Trump magic too :P
vertigoalt: like that Plausible Deniability spell, or Invoke Alternative Facts

--

Gwarl: losing that pet was like 1/4 as feelbad as losing a character
rodent: so if you lose another 3 pets like that, you'll get all the feelbad of losing a character without having to actually lose a character
BostocksAlt: "new plan for gwarl"

--

bostock: where are you?
rodent: war on drujs
bostock: just say no to drujs
bostock: the silly canadians are legalizing drujs
bostock: but they'll regret it
Gwarl: when they get double-whirlpooled

--

[20:04] bostock: You have The Pair of Dragon Wings 'Terminater' [4,+20] (+2) {St;Li;RfLv[ET} (t).
[21:42] bostock: You have The Set of Dragon Gloves 'Hithlomir' [4,+20] (+2) {StCn;AcPoCa;Lv[MT(Cn} (v).
[23:02] bostock: The Pair of Dragon Wings of Arvedui [4,+20] {NtSoDi;LvWr[T}
[...]
[01:50] bostock: Dragon Quest (Angwil) (Level 42): Here's a little something extra for you. You have a Pair of Dragon Wings [4,+10] {ElPoNtNx;Lv} (q).
[01:50] bostock: But they're not complete
[01:50] Gwarl: those certainly are
[01:50] Gwarl: dragon wings
[01:50] bostock: still lacking that [T
[01:50] Gwarl: yes
[01:50] Gwarl: go put it on them
[01:52] bostock: this
[01:52] bostock: i
[01:52] bostock: i should play the lottery
[01:52] bostock: You have The Pair of Dragon Wings of Caspanion [4,+19] {ElPoNtNx;Lv[ET}
[01:53] Gwarl: ahahahaha
[01:53] Gwarl: I'm sorry
[01:53] Gwarl: it shouldn't be funny
[01:53] Gwarl: lol yes it should
[...]
[04:05] bostock: You drop The Wizardstaff of the Rohirrim (1d2) (+14,+5) {Dm[T/*U}.
[...]
[17:40] bostock: ok one more try
[17:45] bostock: You have The Pair of Dragon Wings 'Red Belet' [4,+16] (+4) {Dx;AcElNt;Lv[T A:Lightning Strike} (u).

--

kobold: bring compos into the modern era by adding a quest where you kill the ghost of steve jobs
bostock: if you bring your roguelike into the modern era do you get a free tech?
bostock: or is that only in Roguelikemaintainer IV?
rodent: only if no one else's roguelike has done it first
bostock: You have completed The Speed System!
bostock: *dramatic music plays*
bostock: *still image appears because creating a video is too much work*

--

kobold: gwarl you should do the alpha go-getter move and remove pcb from the list
Nivim: Gwarl should do the alpha-go getter move and have a chess-based variant.

--

Fnord: Not blaming the US, the entire world is like that (and in some places far worse)!
Fnord: And not "blaming" per se. Just calling them insane.

--

bostock: clubber demons should discochant

--

bostock: Also why am I suddenly a brute
MITZE: because virtues
bostock: You behold the eldritch visage of virtues!
bostock: You are confused!

--

wobbly: If you ever get tired of the virtue system. You can reuse it as a sarcastic talking sword

--

bostock: Man Hera is really not interested in sitting around and getting killed
rodent: what an unsporting attitude
bostock: terrible mom
bostock: Achievement unlocked: matricide
bostock: all in a day's work on Mt. Olympus

--

Gwarl: but yeah there are other spells, mana storm is not even the penultimate spell never mind ultimate one
Gwarl: plus you also get polymorph self
Gwarl: if you're into that sort of thing
bostock: "He had a hot body and all, but he was into... you know... [whispers] *polymorph self*"

--

Gwarl: so mitze. in the timed you gained two levels I had two death paladins past level 30 and killed both
MITZE: Yeah sounds right
MITZE: The important bit though
Gwarl: I will probably lap you a third time before long
MITZE: is that I'm still alive, whereas you have died twice
Gwarl: yes but you're missing some vital information
Gwarl: this character
Gwarl: is the one
MITZE: uh huh
MITZE: considering your track record
Gwarl: I'll kill the J and never have to prove myself again
MITZE: forgive me for remaining
MITZE: unconvinced
Gwarl: how dare you question the veracity of the one true run
Fnord: Are you calling the character J?

--

MITZE: our resident fatcat decided he wanted in my lap
bostock: MITZE hopes to be the living embodiment of the tortoise from The Tortoise and the Hare
bostock: meanwhile, however, even a cat is lapping him

--

bostock: Olog partyyy
Gwarl: don't have olog parties
Gwarl: there are rocks
bostock: are there rolls?
[...]
bostock: these ologs are kinda led zeppelin
bostock: they are
bostock: dazed and confused

--

Hugo: Well...probably not Polearmaster anymore...That Kell 77's opportunity...but she's dead already...I'm with Kell 85 now...so I'll probably go with Swordmastery to go along with the maxxed Marital Arts this time around
[...]
Gwarl: I see from the message history that Hugo has maxed marital arts skills
Gwarl: he's not getting screwed in a divorce

--

konijn_: Hmmm, how about an ergonomic variant that reduces keypresses, could call it WristBand

--

BostocksUgar: luckily alchemists OP
BostocksUgar: (please don't nerf them please)
rodent: I nerfed them before they were even introduced, they're a lot more op in poschengband-r
murphy: i feel like the word nerf is used heavily in this community
BostocksUgar: if PCB had a nerf ball gun
BostocksUgar: rodent would probably nerf it

--

OmniNegro: Sleep well before rodent nerfs your bed into a pit full of spikes.

--

rodent: don't die to the cyclops
Gwarl: wow
Gwarl: I died to the cyclops
[...]
Gwarl: why did I die to the cyclops
Gwarl: just as rodent told me not to
Gwarl: sigh
bostock: you showed him who's boss :P

--

MITZE: "Your position seems very uncertain."
rodent: does that mean you know more about your momentum

--

Gwarl: my priest capped his riding skill because it caps so low
Gwarl: but my mount killed a huge bunch of stuff I'm sure
Gwarl: so idk what to do with it and I need mitze's advice
Gwarl: because I can't ignore it and do what I was going to anyway unless he gives me considered advice

--

Gwarl: ugh I hate fiendish donkeys
rodent: at least the variant maintainer doesn't summon them
rodent: (yet)
Nivim: (A unique that summoned them would probably be an ass.)
bostock: This place is a barrel of laughs today
bostock: So do we need a new unique, Jack of Asses?

--

Gwarl: you should blame nick IMO
Holy_Rage: nick?
Holy_Rage: nick marshall?
Holy_Rage: what for?
Gwarl: nick mcconnell
Gwarl: for bugs in vanilla
rodent: (though he probably won't complain if you blame some other nick instead)

--

BostocksAlt: gertrude was very rude
Gwarl: show me where on the doll she disenchanted you

--

Prandar: rune swords are fun tho
Prandar: but no SI and FA
Prandar: i'll store it
bostock: not sure it's
bostock: drum roll please
bostock: worth the aggravation

--

bostock: a sexy swimsuit of elemental protection
rodent: you could mundanize it
bostock: just after you said that i found a scroll of mundanity
rodent: it's a sign
[...]
bostock: targeting could be vastly improved
bostock: gwarl improve it for me
bostock: now
Gwarl: bostock is secretly kobold confirmed
bostock:
Fnord: bostock doesn't fucking swear about shit enough to be kobold.
bostock: i need to up my game
bostock: You see a Hard Leather Cap of the Kobold (+0,+2) [2,+10] (+1) {St;-Ch;Po}.
bostock: it's a sign

--

Gwarl: I blame kt
kt: Why blame me??
bostock: it's convenient
rodent: it comes with doing things, if you do things, you get the blame
rodent: and if you then don't do things you'll still get the blame
kt: of course
bostock: that's why it's safest to never have any accomplishments

--

BostocksUgar: The closest thing to a RIP I suffered today was when a green glutton ghost in Warrens came out of nowhere (naturally) and ate my Smeagol corpse
BostocksUgar: I would write "RIP Smeagol corpse" but that seems unlikely

--

Holy_Rage: I am simply thinking I am doing well
Holy_Rage: and trying to convince myself not to mess up as I approach the throne room
rodent: not messing up is a good plan imo
Holy_Rage: Very close to not taking damage
Holy_Rage: a close 2nd
BostocksUgar: see, this is where the amateurs fail
BostocksUgar: first they mess up
BostocksUgar: then they take damage
Gwarl: not true
Gwarl: I generally take damage first
Gwarl: then mess up

--

Prandar: The Club 'Blue Steele' (1d5) (+12,+7) Prevents Teleportation Random Teleportation
Gwarl: great artifact name though
Prandar: yeah, aren't clubs made of wood?
BostocksUgar: not country clubs
BostocksUgar: those are made of countries
Prandar: sounds like a solid material
Gwarl: night clubs have innate darkness brand

--

Gloomshroud: OMG LOLOLOLOL
Gloomshroud: My cursor floated on my screen
Gloomshroud: And I thought it was an Insect Swarm
Gloomshroud: I was trying to kill my mouse cursor
Gwarl: nice
Gloomshroud: I feel about half stupid right now
Gloomshroud: Shooting arrows at my cursor :/

--

BostocksUgar: could it be that it kept exploding after death and i kept re-killing it?
rodent: I would think there'd be some kind of safeguard against that because it would happen too often otherwise, but I don't know if an unusual situation like readied shot might change things
rodent: most monster processes quit if the monster's already dead which is why two internet exploders can't make each other explode repeatedly in an infinite loop
rodent: (although it would be more realistic if they could do that)

--

BostocksUgar: arthur too falls to the almighty trout
rodent: trouts op
BostocksUgar: they must be killgore trouts

--

BostocksUgar: it's not the op cap of seeing
Gwarl: I should never say anything in chat again
Gwarl: then nothing else can be used against me
rodent: but we like using things against you!

--

kobold: time to look up which dungeon guardian gives most xp
kobold: cthulhu and vecna got posses so that's not viable
kobold: does zeus?? who knows
kobold: shoot zeus for xp
BostocksUgar: i see no flaws in this plan
kobold: it's flawless
rodent: you cannot see the flaws because they aren't there
kobold: keep killing tiamat's posse and then recalling
kobold: for easy access to a bunch of dragons
BostocksUgar: I sometimes do that with Mughash's posse
BostocksUgar: except instead of dragons, they're kobolds
BostocksUgar: and instead of killing the posse only, i kill mughash too
BostocksUgar: and instead of recalling, i pregenerate
rodent: and instead of bags of xp, you get the warm feeling of cheating the system
BostocksUgar: yes
BostocksUgar: rodent always remembers the key points i forget

--

rodent_debug: I wonder what the townsmen will think when they enter the crypt after you're done with it and find all these extra doors
BostocksUgar:
BostocksUgar: "converted to law office"

--

kobold: so i've got two angry black reavers playing defense for this archlich
BostocksUgar: nowadays we call them african-american reavers, thank you very much

--

wobbly: Hugo is a player who fights with honour
Hugo: thanks
BostocksUgar: hey i fight with honor too
BostocksUgar: honor usually loses

--

Thurl: It's clear that things like this were why the mine was abandoned in the first place; workers getting disintegrated and mana stormed and they couldn't just keep hiring quality labor like that.

--

bostock: but, i'm being rude, i'm sorry
bostock: it's your game
MITZE: (Don't worry about it)
MITZE: (I was being mock-angry)
rodent: telling everybody else how to play is part of angband.live, at least you're not dying repeatedly in your own games while you do it
MITZE: Yeah
bostock: wait
bostock: i am
bostock: but then, snark is also a part of angband.live
MITZE: If I really got annoyed about that stuff I wouldn't be playing on here
MITZE: What's the point of being able to spectate people's games if you can't tell them "YOURE DOING IT WRONG!"?
bostock: you might as well not even spectate
bostock: if you're not going to do that
bostock: but the real art is to kibitz while not spectating
bostock: that's my focus

--

MITZE: Hey all
Gwarl: mitze they are bullying me make them stop
MITZE: Good job guys, keep it up

--

Gwarl: death magic shouldn't have to suffer just because necros exist
Gwarl: make necros suffer instead
Gwarl: if someone has to
MITZE: If someone has to
MITZE: you do it
MITZE: you suffer
Gwarl: noooo
Gwarl: whyyyy
rodent: you are the Jesus of Angband
rodent: you suffer so the rest of us don't have to
rodent: (don't expect us to worship you though)
bostock: We will however take your name in vain

--

Fnord: Night Rage, Quirk
Fnord: And by Talos, you were annoying
Fnord: *bye
Fnord: Important correction! I wasn't swearing by Talos! I was addressing him ;p
__________________
The Complainer worries about the lack of activity here these days.
Sideways is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 08:27.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions Inc.