Anyone play Eador: Genesis?

[Nivim]

Apologies for vanishing, and for thread necromancy, but I hope for this to be clear enough to make up for it.

I am fairly sure I'm talking about the "until suddenly it's time to go to work" part; I mean-- you don't find it at all scary to lose consciousness to some impulse like that? It feels like a little death, so I almost instinctually try to find some defense against its influence; a mental structure analogous to a "pre-set turn limit" which clamps off the harm the habit can do to me. The crux of this issue, and perhaps the reason I failed to respond so long ago, is that I find it disturbing (at around the level of "watching a 30-year-old at the store act just like a 4-year-old") that this set of fear, feeling, instinct, and defense doesn't even seem to have counterparts in the people here.
The whole experience has been vaguely like going out onto a balcony in the dark, reaching for the railing, and finding nothing there.

Moreover...there's a part of me that does not want to hear the response to this, because I imagine it will be retaliatory, strained, or flippant; no responses one should make a person want to write.
:[
Sorry.