Angbandish Fun (r.g.r.a highlights) - The Ringil Song

To the tune of Jingle Bells:

Ringil bells
Ringil bells
Ringil all the way
Oh what fun to hack
and slash and kill
and stab and slay, hey!

Down at 50'
My very first trip down
I found a long sword (4d5)
And hauled it back to town!

I scummed 10 thousand turns
an ID scroll to buy
I killed a couple singing drunks
I hardly even tried, oh!


I went a good bit deeper
My heart and brain did soar
I did not get much sleep, or
eat or do my chores, for!

I was having so much fun
Stabbing orcs in the stomachs
And killing Bert and Tom and Bill
And Lokkah, dirty lummox! Oh!


Draebor did appear
And brought along his friends
I fought them hard, I really did!
But the game I feared would end

I looked up in the help files
I looked there under 'A'
I pressed Aa*t
And blew those imps away! Hey!


I then began stat gain
It was 'bout half past nine
I finally met Wormtongue (at last!)
And split his crooked spine

The clock it did strike midnight
The room was in a hush
I fought an Ancient Multi-hued
And beat it's brains to mush, oh!


This song is very long
it really ought to end
but before I do so I must say
One thing more 'bout my friend

We got down to Baphomet
We got him down to three
Then he breathed force (the sob)
And sleep could come to me

But Ringil it leapt up
And hid itself anew
And someday we will meet again
And go give him his due, oh!


James K. Banks

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